Is it ever enough?

“I’m so excited… I don’t even know what to do with myself.”

The words of a dance team member 2 days before departing for Florida to compete at NDA (National Dance Alliance) Collegiate Nationals.   To be honest, this dance team member was me, about 5 hours ago at practice, bouncing around at my coach’s cheer and dance gym in Shrewsbury with the rest of my team.  I can’t help it.  It’s the best time of year and I don’t just say it because I get to spend five days in sunny Daytona Beach.

My team and I have been preparing for nationals all year and now that it’s a mere 2 days away, I’m excited, anxious and will probably fall victim to a serious panic attack any moment.  Sure, I’ve competed at nationals in the past (the prior 2 years I’ve been on the team) and I even work for the company who is holding the nationals, but this year something is different.  Maybe it’s the added stress of being captain, but there is definite something inside me that wants this more than ever — and for once, I have a (fingers-crossed) great feeling about it.

Please don’t get me wrong.  I am Captain and a third-year member of the Assumption College Dance Team and I could not be prouder to say it.  I have seen my team improve and grow in the past three years and as I said in a previous post, my team is another family.  Still, that doesn’t mask the fact that we have never made it out of Prelims, never made it to Day 2 of the competition.  I want this to change; we all do, but only we can make it happen.  It’s out of my coach’s hands  at this point.  We have to work together as a team to get to where we want to be — dancing during Day 2 on the band shell, outside of the Hilton Hotel (.. practically on the beach!)  We’ve trained hard, practiced long hours.  I have a new knee brace and deep purple bruises to prove it.  We’ve laughed together, cried together, stretched, sweat and hurt together.  But one question always lingers — is it ever enough?

We hope it is, but this lesson isn’t just about dance – it’s about dance, writing, living in general.  Is anything we ever do enough?  We strive to be the best in whatever we fall in love with (sometimes multiple things), whether it be dancing and writing (my chosen paths), singing, playing a sport or just being a good person.  It’s hard to be judged in front of others, especially those who could be better than you.

I know one thing for sure – the judges only see the final product, not the work that goes into it.  At nationals, you get one chance, one performance of 2 minutes and 11 seconds to give it your all with hope that they see past a few mistakes to the heart of your team. Once it’s over, we wait for our scores, praying it was enough (and knowing in our minds if it really was.)  It’s probably the worst part of the whole experience…. and now my nerves have doubled.

Okay, enough stressing.  For now, I’ll sit here with the other dance captain (and the newest of my best friends), do some homework, goof around and talk about how fun our trip will be.  It’s better than succumbing to that panic attack any day.

Assumption College Dance Team 2009-2010


Published in: on April 6, 2010 at 4:35 am  Leave a Comment  

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